Cult Classic Corner: The Beatles’ Help!

By Nate Storey

Directed by Richard Lester

Starring: The Beatles
John Lennon
Paul McCartney
George Harrison
Ringo Starr

Synopsis: Ringo accidentally becomes the target of an obscure Indian cult that practices human sacrifices when he puts on the victim’s ceremonial ring and cannot get it off. The band is pursued by the cult, a pair of bumbling scientists and the London Police as they try to help, and a member of a side cult who wishes to save Ringo’s life.

Why It’s Great: Because it is completely and utterly pointless. The movie was clearly made in an attempt to create another Beatles vehicle after the success of “A Hard Day’s Night.” Plot? What plot? Character development? Who needs character development? You are watching THE BEATLES! And its absolutely hilarious British humour (note the “u”—just trying to get into the British mood). The film is filled with James Bond references, Beatles music, gags, and witty marijuana induced repartee as The Beatles travel from London to The Alps to the Caribbean, and Paul is shrunk to the size of a pencil. See? No plot at all.

Best Scene : Throughout the movie, followers of Kali try numerous madcap attempts to capture Ringo and/or cut his finger off to regain the ring. At one point the leader, Clang, hides in a mailbox and tries to grab Ringo’s hand when he attempts to deposit a letter. They also periodically try to poison his soup or throw red paint on him, as part of the sacrifice. Later, Clang tries to get his hand while he reaches into a sandwich machine, which brings me to my favorite part: the house all The Beatles share. It is a row house building with the walls between four houses torn down. In short, I want that house. It has got it all. A bed dug into the floor, a pipe organ, all The Beatles instruments for practice and jamming purposes, and the aforementioned sandwich machine. Who would not want to live in that place, I ask you? Or at least see it on screen?

Trivia:
George Harrison was introduced to the sitar during the filming of the club scene, which features an Indian band playing an instrumental sitar version the song “Hard Day’s Night”. His interest in Hinduism was also sparked when a lady came up to them on set with a book about the religion. Harrison would later learn to play the sitar and was highly influenced by Hinduism later in life.

Throughout the filming, Paul McCartney drove director Richard Lester to distraction by constantly playing the melody of a new song he was working on called “Scrambled Eggs”. By the time filming had wrapped, “Scrambled Eggs” had acquired new lyrics and a new title: “Yesterday”.

Great Quotes:

Clang: [offering a bagful of gold] Psst! Hey, Be-a-tle! You shall have fun, yes?
John: No thanks, I’m rhythm guitar and mouth organ.

Professor Foot: It’s the brain drain, his brain’s draining.

Ringo: They have to paint me red before they chop me. It’s a different religion from ours. I think.

Ringo: Look, John, I’ve had some great good times with this finger, and how do you know I wouldn’t miss it?

Paul: You don’t miss your tonsils, do yer?