Top Ten Most Annoying Christmas Songs of All Time

By Audra Foster

1. “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”

Because we’re all so cold and desensitized by violent video games that it’s funny when sweet old grandmother’s die. It’s a typical middle school boy song, not a Christmas carol worthy of reknown.

2. “We Wish You A Merry Christmas”

The Christmas version of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall”—endlessly repeating verses, monotonous tune, and most often sung while on a smelly yellow bus with thirty other people.

3. “All I Want For Christmas Is You”

All I want is to not hear this song every three minutes on every radio station on every radio everywhere.

4. “Deck the Halls”

Fa la la la la la la shut the fuck up.

5. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”

Because divorce isn’t traumatizing enough to a child, they decided to have Santa be the one to break up the family.

6. “White Christmas”

This song is so slow, you’ll be dreaming before the first verse ends.

7. “The Chipmunk Song”

I get a nosebleed just listening to those prepubescent high pitched little rodents.

8. “Twelve Days of Christmas”

Just shoot me in the face.

9. “Dominick the Donkey”

Well, there’s one way to make an ass of yourself, and it’s believing that Santa rides donkeys instead of getting pulled around in a sleigh by reindeer, like the jolly, obese, lazy bastard should be.

10. “Feliz Navidad”

As if it weren’t irritating enough in English, for God’s sake.