You Can’t Handle the Tooth!

By Brian Englesma

While most Gettysburgians were wallowing in self-pity over the latest batch of snow, I was embarking on an adventure. Busting loose from a snow bank I made my way to the movie theater to enjoy a feature length film. For an evening of this variety there was only one choice: Tooth Fairy.

Unlike my last voyage to the theater, where I saw the cinematic masterpiece New Moon, my trip to Tooth Fairy was not marked by long lines and teenage girls. In fact, I was the only patron I saw at the movie theater, a fact that allowed me to enjoy the feature film in solitude.

So without further ado, I would like to play a little game to shed some light on this fantastic film. I will present some statements about Tooth Fairy that either false, or they are the tooth. And remember, sometimes the tooth hurts.

#1: Tooth Fairy is film just for the kids.

This is false. Tooth Fairy is a film that the entire film can enjoy. Sure, the subject matter, puns and some the slapstick comedy is certainly geared towards children, but they work in plenty of jokes about relationships, menial work and raising a family to appeal to the older set.

#2: Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson is the only actor worth seeing in Tooth Fairy.

This one is also false. Billy Crystal gives the performance of a lifetime in the role of Jerry, a sort of inventor fairy, and Julie Andrew’s performance as the Fairy Godmother is one that will not be soon forgotten. And finally Ryan Sheckler finally breaks out on the big screen in a role he was born to play as Mick “the Stick” Donnelly, a punk who doesn’t have any respect for his elders.

#3: Tooth Fairy teaches kids a positive lesson.

This one right here is the straight up tooth. Tooth Fairy teaches us that we should never give up on our dreams, be they big or small. In the words of Steve Perry, don’t stop believing.

Tooth Fairy is a rousing good time for both the kids, and the kid inside of all of us. So next time you’re looking for an uplifting, hilarious film, may I suggest heading out to watch Tooth Fairy . I gave it two teeth up, way up. And that’s the whole tooth, nothing but the tooth, so help me God.