Robert Kellert
Staff Writer
Robert is a philosopher. Why?
Articles written by Robert
Rodents Storm Gettysburg Campus
April 1st, 2012
By Rob Kellert
It was a crystal-clear spring morning. The pristine Gettysburg countryside perspired its daily dew. Quarry Lake stood still, a rare quiescent retreat in a turbulent world. The campus was in perfect order. The Sun would never set on ...
Indecision 2012
March 5th, 2012
By Robert Kellert
Super Tuesday is nearly upon us, and the political world is abuzz. What has happened so far? Where are things headed? These are the questions that should be on voters’ minds. However, they have been eclipsed by a ...
In the ‘Nick’ of Time
February 16th, 2012
By Robert Kellert
Let’s rewind back to Medieval England, before the 16th century. Each meal featured pudding—the English fancy their pudding to this day, although one suspects it wasn’t so tasty back then—and this was the first food served. Hence, to arrive ...
Gettysburg Announces New Classes
April 1st, 2011
By Rob Kellert
Gettysburg College has finally released its list of courses for the new iYear! Sign-up is easy: just access the iSelect feature (to the left of the iSuck feature, just below the iScreamforicecream button) on your iCourse application on ...
Code of Honor
March 24th, 2011
By Robert Kellert
As you all know, our school has an honor code by which we are expected to abide on every quiz, test, assignment, meal—okay, maybe not meal, but you get the idea. Allow me to pose a simple, but critical, ...
Where Did They Come From?
February 24th, 2011
By Robert Kellert
A look at a couple phrases we cherish, but whose origins we knew nothing about…until now.
“Con man”
New York can be a tricky place sometimes (every time, really), but not as tricky as it was in the Antebellum Era. Alright, ...
Get Over It
February 21st, 2011
By Robert Kellert
It would be difficult not to accept that the world is falling apart, and that is precisely why that conclusion cannot be drawn lightly. Each generation is inclined to believe its own problems are, historically, the worst. This is ...
Why Democrats Got “Shellacked” on Election Day
November 24th, 2010
By Robert Kellert
My apologies for the delay in publishing this article. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse decided to hurl every disease known to man at me in the past month. Nevertheless, here it is.
Tissues, humble pie and strait-jackets were ...
Jokes So Bad That They’re Bad
October 14th, 2010
By Rob Kellert
Courtesy of www.hyperdeathbabies.com
Why isn’t it safe to eat sandwiches near the computer?
The mega bites.
What did the Zulu quip when they were ordered to attack the British?
Oh, there’s a real Shaka!
Why didn’t the indentured servant help ...
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