Moldova is random. It’s really hard to say that a European nation is random, that is unless you cheat and use Andorra or San Marino or some BS like that, but Moldova makes a very strong case for being both European and random, and that is why I’d like to tell you a few things about this wonderful, random country.

Moldova is located in Eastern Europe, sandwiched between the significantly less random countries of Ukraine and Romania. Once a mere Socialist Republic in the USSR, Moldova was given freedom and independence following the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991. A landlocked state, Moldova has very little contact with the outside world, and most people agree that if it went missing people wouldn’t notice for three, four weeks top.

Industry and economic activity of most kinds are lacking from Moldova. It has no natural resources to speak of, and hasn’t seen a tourist since the night a Romanian man got lost in the woods and wound up in a Moldovan pasture. Most Moldovans affectionately refer to this event as “the Great Economic Boom of 1997.”

What Moldova lacks in industry and modern economic activity, it more than makes up for in farming. Moldovans are quick to point out that their proud motherland is situated between two mighty rivers, the Dniester and the Prut, providing the nation with rich and fertile soil. Furthermore, Moldovans boast of having “the cleanest air in all of the former Soviet Union.” Despite its beautiful farm land, Moldova remains the least developed and poorest nation in all Europe.

The cash crops that have sustained the Moldovan peoples thus far include various fruits and vegetables, tobacco and the finest wine east of France. Moldova has in excess of 360,000 acres of vineyards, most of which is used for commercial winemaking. Families have their own special strands of grapes and recipes to improve their final product.

Moldova’s location in between Europe and Asia has made it a prime target for invasions. True to their colors Moldovans have learned to “man up” to, at different times, invading hordes of Goths, Huns, Avars, Bastarns, Sarmatians, Magyars, Kievan Rus’, Pechenegs, Cumans, Mongols and most recently Communists.

Historically Moldova can trace its ancestry back to the Principality Moldavia, which existed between the 14^th and 19^th centuries, and ruled the area of Moldova, along with part of both Ukraine and Romania. Moldavia territory and strength was greatly increased by Stephen the Great, who ruled over Moldavia in the 15^th century. Without Stephen who knows if Moldova would exist today.

Slowly Moldavia territory was lost to the Russian Empire, and eventually what remained of it became, along with Wallachia, the Kingdom of Romania. Moldova today is the Moldavia territory that was swallowed up by the Russian Empire. For a brief time following World War One Moldova was an independent nation, but quickly reverted back to Russian control when it was seized by the Soviet Union in World War Two. The end of the Cold War brought new found independence to Moldova, and what a joy it was to all the Moldovans.

The official language of Moldova, as described in its constitution, is Moldovan. It’s interesting to note, however, that in the Moldovan declaration of Independence they list the official language as Romanian. It’s an easy mistake to make, however, since Moldovan and Romanian are the same language. In fact, Moldovan culture and Romanian culture are incredibly similar, and few distinctions actually exist between the two countries.

With its charming history of constant invasions, its lack of unique culture and its relative squalor and poverty, it’s no small wonder why Moldova has generally been forgotten by the world, and why Moldova is world renowned as a random country.

Everyone always pays attention to Yemen, Oman’s younger brother to the west. Oh, Yemen, what an interesting and unique name you have, you are so funny and cute Yemen.  Screw you Yemen.  Oman!  Oman is random, and gets no press.

In case you didn’t already know, the Sultanate of Oman is a vibrant nation located on the southern tip of the Arabian Peninsula, bordered to the north by Saudi Arabia, to the west by the bullshit nation Yemen, and to the south by the Indian Ocean. Home to two and a half million of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, Oman’s 120,000 square miles, roughly the same as Arizona, has been free from Portuguese rule for over three centuries.

Most of Oman consists of a vast gravel desert, although a mountain range does cut across the nation. The climate of Oman varies depending on where you are. Muscat, the nation’s capital, which is located in the east, receives about four inches of rain a year. In the southern province of Dhofar, however, over 25 inches of rain can be counted on during the rainy season.

Perhaps the most pressing issue facing modern Oman is the lack of available water. Water is more or less available throughout the nation, thanks to an extensive system of pipes, but drought and limited rainfall contribute to water shortages that can plague the Omani countryside.

Like other Arab states Oman is officially an Islamic state, with nearly 99% practicing Muslims. However, unlike other Islamic states Oman is made up of mostly Ibadhi Muslims, with the rest of the nation being primarily Sunni Muslims.

Islam spread to the nation during the Prophet Muhammad’s lifetime in the seventh century A.D. As mentioned earlier, Oman is the only nation made up of primarily Ibadhi Muslims, a feature it gained in the eighth century. One interesting feature of Ibadhi Islam that has shaped Omani life is that it chooses its ruler by communal consensus and consent.

The nation was ruled as a colony by Portugal from the year 1515 until the year 1650. Following Portuguese occupation Oman was ruled by various competing families, who formed a Sultanate. The Sultanates control slowly expanded to a good portion of the southern Arabian Peninsula, as well part of eastern Africa, most notably Zanzibar.

Much of Oman’s overseas territories were seized by the British crown in 1850. In 1856, following the death of the ruling Sultan, his sons quarreled over control of the empire, which eventually led to it being split in two in 1861, with present day Oman one part, and Zanzibar being the other. With the discovery of oil in Oman prosperity and wealth soon followed.

Currently Oman has a relatively high standard of living, but with dwindling oil reserves, significant concern exists that the nation will fall on harder times. Currently the oil business makes up over 99% of the nation’s income. In recent years oil production has been slowly decreasing. Oman does have reserves of other natural materials, such as Copper and Marble, but as of now has not fully developed them.

In an effort to branch out and diversify their economy, the Omani government has been attempting to stoke tourism and natural gas production in the country. The real treasure of Oman’s economic future, however, is industry, with Sultan Qaboos hoping that industries such as telecommunications and information technology will make up 15% of the nations GDP by the year 2020.

Oman features a variety of popular tourist attractions, such as wadis, or valleys in English, deserts, beaches and mountains. Popular tourist activities include sand skiing, mountain climbing, camel racing and camping.

Oman! Oman is a truly random country. Unlike Yemen and other similar nations on the Arabian Peninsula, only Oman can boast the mediocrity and peace that makes it a random nation.

By Brian Englesma

Today I’d like to talk to you about a nation that I find particularly random: Nauru. Located in the South Pacific, Nauru is the island nation home to 14,000 lucky souls. Situasharted in the vast swath that is the Pacific Ocean, Nauru has long been regarded as a mysterious, strange nation.

Nauru is world known as the smallest island nation, having a size of only 8.1 square miles. Officially a Republic, Nauru also has the distinction of being the smallest Republic in the world. Finally, Nauru has the distinct honor of being the only Republican government in the world without an official state capitol. These may seem like interesting things now, but in the grand scheme of things if this is what get the brave people of Nauru excited about their country, can they really have much going for them?

The proud President of Nauru is Marcus Stephen, a former island celebrity. President Stephen earned his strong reputation as a weightlifter, winning seven gold medals and five silver medals at the Commonwealth Games. Nauru is unique among democracies in that it has no political parties, rather most candidates run as independents. Alliances and coalitions are often formed based on family lines and connections.

Major ethnic groups in Nauru include Nauruan and Other Pacific Islander. The island is largely Christian and officially has freedom of religion, although some Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses have encountered difficulties.

Statistically Nauru is considered the most obese nation in the world, a full 90% of adults have a BMI higher than the worldwide average. Furthermore, more than 40% of the nation suffers from type two diabetes.

The economy of Nauru has historically been supported by phosphate mining, which it has had extensive supplies of. In recent years, however, the nation’s phosphorous supplies have been dwindling, forcing the nation to take up new sources of economic activity. Unemployment sits at roughly 90% of the population, and of those that are employed, 95% are employed by the government. Per capita GDP has fallen from its peak in the early 1980’s, when it had the second highest in the world, to just $2,038 today.

To the Nauruan government’s credit they have attempted to diversify their economy in recent years, including forays into selling passports, money laundering, and its attempt to become a tax haven. In 2001 the government was able to garner much needed revenue by allowing Australia to place detainees in a facility on the island.

Nauru’s first contact with humans came roughly three thousand years ago. Traditionally society in Nauru is based around the twelve clans, which have existed throughout much of the islands recorded history. In 1798 whaler John Fearn was the first westerner to spot the island, and he quickly named it Pleasant Island, a name that didn’t stick. Ever since then Nauruans have been trading food to British whalers for alcohol and firearms.

In 1888 ze Germanz came to the island and made it the newest member of the German colonial empire. Nauru labored under the ruthless reign of German occupation for nearly three decades before being liberated in World War One. Following World War One, Nauru was placed in a trusteeship under Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. During World War Two Nauru once again fell in the hands of a brutal dictatorship, this time a Japanese one. Following World War Two the island was once again placed under Australian, New Zealander and British control.

Nauru, with its wacky government and zany population it’s no small wonder why it’s a random nation.

Sup fools? This week I’ve got yet another random country for you, this time we voyage to a magical and mythical land known as New Zealand. Now I know what some of you must be thinking, that New Zealand isn’t very random. I tend to disagree, New Zealand is constantly overshadowed by its more popular neighbor, Australia, and although it is a modern, wealthy society, it’s pretty far off the beaten path. For these reasons I find New Zealand to be random, although I doubt it’s going to win many most random country contests.

Named after the Dutch province of Zeeland, the first European to spot New Zealand was Abel Janszoon Tasman in 1642. Tasman met with hostility by the local Maori, who eventually killed several members of Abel’s crew. Surprisingly no Europeans visited the island again until Captain James Cook’s voyage of 1768-71.

After Cook’s voyage what is now New Zealand was claimed by the Brits, who suffered a significant amount of trouble in coexisting with the local Maori population. New Zealand became a Dominion of the British Crown in 1907, and achieved full independence in 1947, although the United Kingdom had ceased to direct control over the nation some time before that.

Throughout much of New Zealand’s history social problems have existed between the indigenous population and the European settlers. Protests by the local Maori increased throughout the 1970’s seeking to increase recognition of Maori culture.

The nation enjoys a relatively high standard of living and economic well being, mostly due to its close relationship to the United Kingdom. New Zealand’s more than 4 million people have a per capita GNP of more than 30,000 dollars. Its economy is heavily dependant on free trade and services, which together make up the vast majority of economic output.

By far the most noticeable thing about New Zealand has got to be its role in international films, particularly the smash hit Lord of the Rings series. As you may know, famed director Peter Jackson was born and raised in the country. Filming for the smash hit motion picture series—which featured such big time Hollywood stars as Sean Astin, Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Sir Ian McKellan and Viggo Mortenson—took place all over the country.

Other major motion pictures filmed in New Zealand include Bridge to Terabithia, and the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. It’s easy to see why New Zealand is such a popular choice for motion pictures, both the North and South Island (the official names of New Zealand’s main two islands) contain a varied landscape, ranging from picturesque woodlands to sweeping mountains.

Is New Zealand the most random country out there? No, not really. But it is random. Its history is actually quite boring and monotonous, as is just about everything else that has to do with this country. It’s quite “vanilla,” not excelling at much of anything aside from having films shot there and having a good rugby team. To me, that makes it random, despite its comparative wealth and well being.

Yo dogs, I’d like to introduce to yet another random country, so grab your boarding passes and get aboard the AirBrian flight to Belarus, a center of random-ocity in Eastern Europe, a region that, in my book, is considerably underrated when it comes to being random.

Belarus is a landlocked country sandwiched among Russia, Poland, Lithuania and Ukraine. The area now known as Belarus was originally settled by Slavic tribes in the sixth century. The regioin has been traded back and forth many times throughout it’s history by Lithuania, Poland and Russia.

Following Russia’s withdrawal following World War I, Belarus became an independent nation for the first time in its history. This newfound independence would be short lived, as the new nation was invaded by the USSR in 1919.

During World War II Belarus was the hardest hit of all the Soviet Republics, remaining in Nazi hands until 1944. The Germans destroyed 209 of 290 cities, 85% of Belarus’ industry, and more than million buildings. It took until 1971 for the area to regain the population it lost during World War II.

Following World War II, Soviet leaders attempted to “Sovietize” the Byelorussian republic by migrating massive amounts of Russians to the area, and putting Russians in key leadership positions. Native Byelorussian’s fought back against this policy and attempted to preserve their culture and identity.

On June 27 th 1990, Belarus declared it’s independence from the Soviet Union. Since then the country has largely become a satellite state of Russia, a move supported by Alexander Lukashenko, Belarus’ President who has held office since their independence.

Belarus is over 80,000 square miles large, most of it flat and marshy land. 40% of the country is covered by forests, and there are over 11,000 lakes in Belarus. Belarus’ natural resources include peat, along with trace amounts of oil and natural gas.

Perhaps the most significant event in Belarus’ history occurred in 1986, with the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. Around 70% of the radiation leaked from the meltdown eventually entered Byelorussian territory. As of 2005 nearly one fifth of the nation’s land continues to be affected by nuclear fallout from the disaster.

To a great extent the economy of Belarus is still state run, with over half of all workers employed by the government. Following Belarus’ independence from the USSR it was one of the most industrialized societies in the world, with the wealthiest economy per capita of post-Soviet states. Key exports include heavy machinery, agriculture and energy products.

By all accounts Belarus is just a simple, random country. Its randomness is very thorough. It has a history of being the conquered rather than the conqueror, its economy is bland, and altogether nothing to brag about. Geographically the country is flat and marshy. What could be more unremarkable and forgettable? Belarus, you truly are a random country.

Contrary to popular belief St. Vincent and the Grenadines is a nation, and not a motown group. Located in the Lesser Antilles of the Caribbean, St. Vincent and the Grenadines has proven itself to be the Kansas City Chiefs of the region for years. And by that, I mean it’s completely forgettable.

Originally settled by Carib Indians, St. Vincent became a haven for shipwrecked and escaped slaves. Over the course of the 18 th century control of St. Vincent was tossed back and forth between France and Great Britain, eventually becoming the prized indigo jewel of the British Empire.

Slavery was outlawed in the increasingly progressive nation in 1834. Labor shortages, however, resulted in a dramatic increase of indentured servitude and immigration from the East Indies. Prosperity lagged in the nation as sugar prices took a beating around the turn of 20 th century, preventing the strong economic growth necessary to turn St. Vincent and the Grenadines into a regional power.

One constant in St. Vincent’s history is a unique unlucky streak. In 1902 the La Soufriere volcano erupted, killing 2,000 people. In April of 1979 the Volcano erupted again, raining fire and ash down upon a scared but resilient public. Finally, as one might assume with a Caribbean island, St. Vincent has been hit with many hurricanes, with significant hurricanes in 1980, 1987 and the terrible Hurricane Lenny in 1999.

Freedom from the oppressive colonial rule of Great Britain finally came in 1979, making it the final British possession in the Caribbean to gain self rule. The ensuing political and government system borrowed heavily from the British tradition, including a parliamentary system with two major parties.

Today St. Vincent continues to struggle in its attempts to become a rich, modernized society. Unemployment has been above 20% for some years, and its economy is reliant on a single cash crop: bananas. Recent efforts to diversify their economy have rested largely on an attempt to make the country more attractive to tourists. Today St. Vincent and the Grenadines is probably most well known as being where the smash hit Pirates of the Caribbean movies were filmed.

Simply put, St. Vincent and the Grenadines is a random country. It’s small, only 150 square miles, sparsely populated, with roughly 120,000 citizens, and not particularly rich. What makes it most notable to me is its role in Pirates of the Caribbean and its recent string of bad luck when it comes to natural disasters. As far as things that make a country noticeable go, these are relatively minor, enhancing St. Vincent’s randomness.

Hello everybody. I’m back, and this time I’d like to take the opportunity to talk to you about a truly random country: Dominica. Dominica, as I’m sure you already know, is located somewhere in the Caribbean, between the islands of Martinique and Guadeloupe.

Over 72,000 people choose to call the 290 square mile island of Dominica home. The population is primarily located around the aptly named port town of Portsmouth, and the capital Roseau. Geographically, Dominica is rather typical of what you’d find in the Lesser Antilles. It features a large mountain in the center of the island, which slowly slopes down to the sea. Dominica is, however, the largest of the Windward Islands, as well as the newest. The island is famous throughout the Caribbean for having the lushest rainforest, as well as for being the home of the Sisserou Parrot.

Dominica was “discovered” by Christopher Columbus on his second journey in 1493. The first stop on Columbus’s journey, Dominica was spotted on November 3rd. This date, a Sunday, explain Dominica’s name. Finding nothing more meaningful or notable to name the name after, Columbus decided to name the island after the day of the week, Dominica, the Latin word for Sunday.

The French, whose occupation was never fully accepted, finally claimed the island in 1635. In 1660, after 25 years of Carib incursions, the French abandoned the island for the native Carib population to control. In 1761, during the Seven Years War, also known as the French and Indian War, the British invaded the island and took it as a protectorate. The French attempted to regain control of the island during the American Revolution, as well as in 1795 and in 1805, failing in every attempt.

Dominica had a relatively peaceful colonial period, with slow transitioning that eventually culminated in independence in 1978. Dominica was dealt its worse tragedy ever in 1979 with the islands destruction due to Hurricane David, destroying over 75% of the homes on the island.
Ask any Dominican what makes them proudest of Dominica, they will surely answer that it is the Boiling Lake. Situated in the Morne Trois Pitons National Park, a United Nations World Heritage Site, a title achieved after extensive lobbying by the Dominican government in 1997, the Boiling Lake is second largest boiling lake in the world. With temperatures ranging from 180 to 197 degrees Fahrenheit around the edges, it’s no wonder how the Boiling Lake earned its hot name!

In recent years the nation of Dominica has become more elusive and restricted from tourists, part of a concerted effort by the Dominican people to keep its pristine wildlife intact. However, Dominica’s lack of beaches makes tourism an unreliable sector regardless of their demeanor towards tourists. Despite all of this, Dominica’s economy, one of the weakest in the industrial hotbed that is the Caribbean, is based on a combination of what little tourism it gets, and growing bananas.

Dominica, the Caribbean’s North Dakota, is a nation that is rather unremarkable and unnoticeable in nearly every way. In nearly every aspect of being, Dominica is truly a random nation.

Hey there cats and dogs, I’d like to take a moment of your time and tell you about a nation that I feel is very random: Brunei. The Kingdom of Brunei is located on the island of Borneo in southeastern Asia. Brunei shares this island home with two other larger and far less random countries: Malaysia and Indonesia.

Officially Brunei is known as the State of Brunei, Abode of Peace. A nation of over 380,000, Brunei occupies almost 2,230 square miles, about the size of Delaware, of pristine land on the northern shore of Borneo. Their government is officially an Islamic Absolute Monarchy, with the proud Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah ruling over the nation.

The Sultan of Brunei is known worldwide for his jet setting life of luxury. He officially has three wives and twelve children, and has amassed a fortune of twenty billion dollars. For a brief time in 1997 he proudly claimed the title of richest man in the world. The Sultan owns a Boeing 747 with gold plated furniture. Furthermore, the Sultan owns the largest amusement park in Southeastern Asia, Jerudong Park, worth an estimated three billion dollars, and in the past admission to the park has been free. Finally, the Sultan is world known for his love of expensive cars. It’s estimated that the Sultan of Brunei owns between three and six thousand cars, at an estimated value of four billion dollars.

While the Sultan’s wealth is undeniable, his power is at a low point in history. The Sultanate of Brunei once controlled nearly all of the island of Borneo. Attacks by Europeans looking to carve out colonies and spheres of influence eventually dwindled Brunei’s land to its current Delawarian size.

One thing Bruneians are proud of is their wealth. Brunei ranks fifth in per capita GDP (PPP) of 51,000 dollars, one spot ahead of the United States. Brunei’s wealth lies mostly in its vast oil reserves, which make up half of the nations GDP. Other sources of wealth include foreign investment, tourism and banking. Recently the national airline of Brunei, Royal Brunei, has been attempting to make Brunei a hub for air travel on its way from Asia to Australia.
Brunei is quick to boast of its free, universal health care. It should be noted, however, that no hospital in Brunei is currently undergoing international health care accreditation, and no medical schools exist within the entire nation.

Ethnically, it is predominantly Malay, although they also have a large amount of Chinese and Filipino immigrants who came to the country to find work. Similarly, Islam is the largest religion in the state, and is the official state religion.

One interesting feature of Brunei is its almost complete prohibition of alcohol. Following the adoption of a prohibitionist policy in the early 1990’s all bars, pubs and nightclubs were forced to close. One exception does exist to this rule, as foreigners and non-Muslims are allowed to bring up to twelve cans of beer and 2 bottles of other alcohol into the nation once every 48 hours.

Known best for its playboy Sultan, Brunei is an overlooked country often forgotten by the world. It has nearly everything you’re looking for in a random country; it’s small, peaceful, unnoticeable, and knowledge of the nation is low. Brunei, now that is a random country.