A Message from the Publisher: Ring in the New Year

By Punzy McGee

Photo circa 1923

By Punzy McGee
Publisher Emeritus

My fellow patriots, I have returned once more from my yearly winter vacation to the shores of Tanzania. With my faithful servant-boy Hugh by my side, much distance was traversed, as well as new and exciting ideas in order to keep our precious Forum a step ahead of the rest. But as 2008 is finally upon us, some changes are in order so that the Forum may continue to thrive in all its esoteric wonderment.

You will notice that we have an entire new format for our interweb page. This is due to fierce collaboration between myself, our captain Nate Storey, and the extravagant Paul Accomando, chief web designer and life-long friend. We wanted to provide a more philosophical theme to the design, as you can see with the marble facades and Corinthian column structures. We are happy to announce many new and exciting new attributes to the site as well, including audio clips, and in conjunction with GBurg TV, video clips of the goings on all about campus.

But now for the New Year, for 2008 has arrived, and already calamity has fallen upon Gettysburg College. First and foremost, the textbook buyback program is in full swing, with a slight twist. This year, not only will you get a very gracious 10% of what you originally paid for a grossly overpriced book, but now you will be compensated for your loyalty. Yes, it appears that not only should you put your head betwixt your legs and giving in to the very fair system that is the buyback program, but you will also be commended for you superior loyalty to the College. I’m not quite sure how this measure of loyalty came about, but I can rest easy knowing the college is fully prepared to stoop to any means necessary to take advantage of these highfalutin students. That should put them in their place!

I have received word too that there shall be a new bias policy enacted upon campus. I was unaware that the issue of racial intolerance needed to be addressed, as it has been a well-established culture in America for so very long. The quote, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” comes to mind.

The student budget was released, and the Forum is proud to display all of the wonderful money that you, the student, contribute through the immaculate student activity fee, and won’t be seeing. For example, did you know that the Jazz Appreciation society got $2,000 dollars for putting on an event that 1/20 th of the student body got to see? If that isn’t the equal reapportionment of a non-negotiable tariff, I don’t know what is.

But that is enough for to-day, for bitter wind has gotten a hold of my heart, and only the warmth of CAB can heal it. Long live the Forum.