Humor » April Fools

By Kyle Lawson

The Senate has fallen! Clubs and their representatives, dissatisfied with what they call unfair status in representation, have voted to secede from the current Student Senate to form their own confederation of organizations. The revolt has apparently been brewing for years with each graduating class passing on the frustration of having to send someone to Senate and ...

By Xavier Harding

The college recently announced the tuition to attend Gettysburg College would rise to $50,881. This is compared to $48,050, a 4.9% increase in cost. With new funding at their disposal, the college has decided to add 27 more channels to its current allotment of ESPN programming. The decision is a complete departure from the college’s original decision to ...

By Alex McComas

Professors and Chair members of the Art Department have found themselves unable to afford proper supplies for Art majors, and have resorted to various menial tasks for meeting minimal funds. The problem remains, however, that Art students have been left to ‘fend for themselves’, attempting to expand their portfolios in whichever ways they can manage without accessible materials. ...

By Nate Storey

Welcome to the new Forum!  It’s getting to the point where that seems like a weekly saying around here.  This change was less voluntary but more stemmed from the fact that, like all institutions on campus, we are affected greatly by the recession which has been sweeping the country for a number of months.

You will notice a ...

By Nate Storey

The Gettysburgian, the newspaper which has catered to the college community since 1832 has experienced an unexpected rise in popularity since the recession hit Gettysburg. But the reason for the rise in popularity is not exactly what one would naturally expect. “The Gettysburgian isn’t really for reading anymore,” Editor-in-chief Sean Parke said. “And we’re okay with that ...

By Josh Carmel

The annals of Alpha Phi Omega reveal a charitable, philanthropic history, unmarred by the indecorous glare of promiscuity or lechery. Founded in 1925, APO currently flourishes on approximately 350 campuses across the nation, Gettysburg College included, providing a bastion for, as their website maintains, “co-ed service” and “college campus-based volunteerism.”

The order strives for the acquisition of leadership and ...

By Xavier Harding

It was announced today that Gettysburg College’s Health Center would start to charge their students an arm and a leg for service. This change is reminiscent of the Health Center’s addition of a $25.00 fee earlier this same year. Just as with the other changes in the college to cut back on the school’s budget, students are outraged ...

By Alex McComas

What happens to the sexually starved college student when the funds run low? What happens when the financial and pleasure bereft student finds they can no longer afford an hour and a half’s entertainment? What happens, the world questions with sore curiosity, when the teen cannot get what they most greatly desire?

What happens, the awful question looms, when ...

By The Forum Staff

By Colleen Cable

Forget your grandma’s tea parties. The “tea parties” held by the new club on campus, the Tea Party Club, are large protests against the school and the government. The club is an official branch of the national Tea Party Movement, known for its fiscal conservatism and libertarian ideals. The club was established in reaction to Gettysburg College’s “socialist ...