Humor » April Fools

By Elizabeth Elliott

The podcast of the 133rd Academy Awards surprised the nation last Sunday when Pirates of the Caribbean 25: The Poop Deck, upset The Levee to win the Oscar for Best Picture.  The Levee, a period romance about the doomed love affair between a looter and a police officer in Hurricane Katrina-era New Orleans, had been the favorite ...

By Emily Francisco

The day has finally come! Over the past few months CNAV has undergone tremendous renovations. Now, when you sign in to your Gettysburg account to check your dining dollars (or to do some casual “C-stalking”), you can see the navy webpage replaced by a strangely familiar powder blue and white webpage. Yes, CNAV’s new network is none other ...

By Xavier Harding

In an effort to make more money, Gettysburg College has increased its tuition exponentially to a bank-breaking $50 million. In lieu of Apple’s recent purchase of the educational institution, both organizations have decided to add the Apple tax to the cost of admission.

Students, most of all, are taking this the hardest and have let their voices be heard: ...

By Connor Lees

Campus has been abuzz lately with all the recent construction on one of Gettysburg College’s most legendary buildings.

Glatfelter has recently been purchased by multinational corporation Google for an undisclosed sum of money and a few first-years.

Google plans to rename the castle-like academic building “Googlefelter”, an appropriate and not entirely outrageous moniker. They also have planned massive renovations for ...

By Connor Lees

Ah the 2040’s… A few of us fondly remember those years, others wish to forget them. But, regardless, our nostalgia for the past runs deep. Here are just a few things that fell by the wayside in one of the most eventful decades our nation has seen…

Pants. Most of us still remember what it was like to wear ...

By Kyle Lawson

The Senate has fallen! Clubs and their representatives, dissatisfied with what they call unfair status in representation, have voted to secede from the current Student Senate to form their own confederation of organizations. The revolt has apparently been brewing for years with each graduating class passing on the frustration of having to send someone to Senate and ...

By Xavier Harding

The college recently announced the tuition to attend Gettysburg College would rise to $50,881. This is compared to $48,050, a 4.9% increase in cost. With new funding at their disposal, the college has decided to add 27 more channels to its current allotment of ESPN programming. The decision is a complete departure from the college’s original decision to ...

By Alex McComas

Professors and Chair members of the Art Department have found themselves unable to afford proper supplies for Art majors, and have resorted to various menial tasks for meeting minimal funds. The problem remains, however, that Art students have been left to ‘fend for themselves’, attempting to expand their portfolios in whichever ways they can manage without accessible materials. ...

By Nate Storey

Welcome to the new Forum!  It’s getting to the point where that seems like a weekly saying around here.  This change was less voluntary but more stemmed from the fact that, like all institutions on campus, we are affected greatly by the recession which has been sweeping the country for a number of months.

You will notice a ...

By Nate Storey

The Gettysburgian, the newspaper which has catered to the college community since 1832 has experienced an unexpected rise in popularity since the recession hit Gettysburg. But the reason for the rise in popularity is not exactly what one would naturally expect. “The Gettysburgian isn’t really for reading anymore,” Editor-in-chief Sean Parke said. “And we’re okay with that ...