Humor » Campus Humor

By Audra Foster

I have a few theories about this snow, because there’s no way it’s natural. There’s a higher power at work here. There has to be. This is Pennsylvania, people, not Michigan. Not Massachusetts or Maine or Minnesota or any other state beginning with the letter ‘M’ where it typically snows a lot during the winter months. Pennsylvania begins ...

By Brian Englesma

Family game night, an American tradition–nothing defines the American Dream quite like a good old fashioned family game night, right?. That was the attitude that many members of the Holiday House, a theme house in the Tudor Apartments, took with them lasy Sunday evening as they convened in the family room for the weekly tradition.

Controversy quickly erupted as ...

By Josh Carmel

Gettysburg College – Office of the President

Authorized Document: 3345

January 22, 2010

Convert The Commons to a Meth Lab

Administrative Prostitution

Abraham Lincoln Burlesque Show

Pay for Admission to Servo

Establish an Arcade

Establish a Petting Zoo

Resume the Ancient Art of Alchemy

Elaborate Ponzi Scheme

File for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and Subsequently Receive a Government Bailout

Glenn Beck

Become a Sponsor of Hard-Hit Lead-Based Products

Grand-Theft Auto

Create a “Burglary” Major

Sell ...

By Alex McComas

The air was tight as the two grave Italians, glaring capo to capo, carefully chose their words. “I know you have the basil,” Paul declared, leader of the DiSalvo family here at Gettysburg. Sebastian of the DiNatale family, easily the more notorious name on campus, carefully replied, “I don’t have it… But I know who does.” These grave ...

By Sebastian DiNatale

Ladies and gentlemen, hear my tale of woe. It seems that the administration has yet again quashed the freedoms and liberties America supposedly grants us in our Constitution. A few weeks ago a man was banned from Gettysburg College after allegedly perusing an art form dating back to 900 B.C. An art form which just happens to be ...