Covered in the white stuff, hey who said this was a Japanese fetish!

By Punzy McGee

Heya everybody, Ol’ Punzy’s back, and boy have I got news for you.  Allow me to break the ice!  Last week, a large snowstorm has brutally attacked the whole East Coast.  “Snow Way!” You might say, but just take a gander out yer window, won’t you.  Now put it back in! Yes, it look like Ol’ Jack Frost has done it again, and not the Michael Keaton movie either! Hey Jack, ICE to meet you!  Boy o boy is it really coming down or what.  I haven’t seen anything accumulate this quickly since I forgot to clean the den!  Why, just now I’m lookin’ out the window at a poor soul trudging his way to the dining hall.  I guess the stimulus plan didn’t make him any richer!  Seriously though, there’s at least 43 feet of white powder out there on the ground.  Who knew FIJI was throwing a cool party!  The blizzard started last Saturday and has continued to get worse and worse.  Except this one’s not packed with calories and doesn’t make you leave when you try to ask out the cashier at the Dairy Queen!  She was so mature for her age!

If there’s anything this weather has proven to me, it’s that girls love to party, no matter what the cost.  Why I saw two girls walking at night in the snow in skirts and high-heeled shoes.  What a couple of numb-nuts, I’d say.  Whores.

Now, a lot of students are getting pretty upset that some teachers didn’t cancel classes.  CHILL out!  What did you make your parents pay for anyway, you NOT to learn.  And stop complaining about the sidewalks not being shoveled, facilities are working around the clock and are trying their best.  You are all whiny bitches.  There is no pun here.

I know now’s the time to catch up on all the work I procrastinated on, but all this snow is givin’ Ol’ Punzy a Brain Freeze!  My advice, let’s kick some ICE!