Oh Yankee Candle, Is There Anything You Cannot Do?

By Sebastian DiNatale

As I sit idly at my computer, I realize the amount of hobbies shared by a plethora of different peoples and cultures. Baseball card collecting, juggling, or even spelunking, the amount of non-paying activities people endorse in is spectacular. However what I take solace most in, the one place where I can truly be myself and free, is when I’m sniffing Yankee Candles. It has been 5 years now, and I can safely say I consider myself a Yankee connoisseur, knowing almost every categorization, color scheme, and seasonal Yankee Candle to date.

Since 3000 B.C., when the Egyptians invented it, the candle has been utilized to fill our environment with light and warmth. Throughout the years, it has shape shifted into a kaleidoscope of various shapes and sizes, yet still remaining true to its purpose. But in 1975, a young man named Michael Kittredge had a miraculous idea: expand the original candle into the fifth sensation of the human body, smell (yes, you can hear a candle, listen closely next time). From that idea, Yankee Candle was born, enabling both old and young to enjoy the rich flavors of scents that radiate in every candle the company produces.

Why, you may ask, do I enjoy partaking in the nasal inhalation of such frivolous waxy light-givers? The answer is both simple, yet complex. When one sniffs a Yankee Candle, for a split second they are taken away from the pains and miseries of the world. For that split second in time they can truly escape to a place where nothing but pleasantness surrounds them. Whether it be enjoying a “MidSummer’s Night ™,” or perhaps a warm “Pineapple Gardenia,” the amounts of scents that take you to such magical places are unspeakably abundant.

Not only are you whisked away to a magical faraway land of peacefulness, but at times, the particular scent may in fact rekindle the embers of memory, and take you to a very specific, personal time in your life in which you felt happy. I know whenever I take a big whiff of, “Home for the Holidays ®,” I can actually imagine my friends and family gathered around the old tree at Christmastime, singing carols and laughing heartedly.

And not only this, but with Yankee’s new World Fragrance Collection, you can go on your own personal vacation to distant lands. With such exotic scents as, “New Zealand Wild Berry,” and “Canary Island Banana,” the need to book flights, check luggage, and pay for hotel rooms instantly is eliminated! Now that’s what I call first class!

But this fervent love for these delectable candles is not the reason for writing this. I can humbly enjoy the scent of my candles in the privacy of my own life without blabbing about it to others. No, this is to glorify the genius of Yankee Candles. In case you’ve been living in a scentless vacuum of monotone, Yankee Candles go far beyond the typical flora sensations, such as Autumn Leaves ™, Berry Tangerine, and the like. Oh no, these are just the tip of the iceberg, the melting iceberg!!!

One does not truly appreciate the scent of an object he thought was scentless until he smells it in the manifested form of a Yankee Candle. Under normal conditions, no man would be able to identify what coarse grains on the beach or the 9,953° F ball of hydrogen and helium composing 99% of our solar systems’ mass smell like. But after taking a waft of “Sun and Sand ™,” he can finally make the connection, and is at peace. Yankee goes even further in its genius of scent developmental technology. I speak, of course, of scents that, in fact, belong to no object. Such scents as, “Home for the Holidays ®,” “Cottage Breeze ™,” and the astonishingly accurate, “Good Morning ™.” To this date, no one can fully understand how the scientists at Yankee are able to reproduce such scents, succulent though they may be. I personally have never even been in a Cottage, let alone a cottage whilst a breeze sweeps through, however I know that if I had, it would smell exactly like the Yankee Candle.

Aside from the scientific veracity of Yankee Candle, a Yankee Candle is not simply an accessory in order to mask the odor of too much garlic or a decaying corpse of a once loved one in the cellar, but to complete the environment in which you live. Whether it be swimming with ” Seaside,” picnicking in the woods with, “Rainforest Glen,” or making love with, “Passion,” there does not exist a locale in which a Yankee Candle would be an interloper.

So, the next time you’re at a Hallmark, The Gettysburg Marketplace, Bed, Bath and Beyond, or any other store which vends such immaculate waxy creations, take a break from life, and enjoy the variety of flavors and scents Yankee has to offer. So, take a sniff, and let Yankee please you in ways you could never imagine.