Response to Mr. Fraternity…

Dear Anonymous~

On behalf of the Chi Omega Sorority, I would like to thank you for the $5 donation to the Make a Wish Foundation that you made by attending Mr. Fraternity. Your charitable donation, along with the other $4,700 Chi Omega raised, will surely make some terminally ill child’s dream come true. If you would care to see where the money goes, please visit www.wish.org.

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that perhaps you didn’t realize that Mr. Fraternity was indeed a philanthropy event, and not a “hybrid pageant-burlesque for all Greek Life on campus”. However, if you did believe it was the latter of the two, then why exactly did you attend? What kind of pageantry were you expecting? Clearly these are collegiate men, not American Idol contestants. If you want to be wowed, go see an Andrea Bocelli concert.

Moving on to quite possibly the most stupid comment of your commentary (although there were quite a few to choose from), the issue of the commercials. Clearly, the dances are called commercials because they break up the different portions of the competition, much like commercials break up the beginning, middle, and end of a television show. I, like many others, assumed this made sense, however that must have been the crystal meth going right to my head. My bad. If you can think of a better one-word name for them please let us know so we can consider using it for next years event.

My only question for you is why you continued to sit through two hours of this torture. Based on your op-ed, it truly must have been a terrible experience. Perhaps you didn’t drink enough, or do the right drugs. Or perhaps you just lack a sense of humor and have a huge chip on your shoulder. Once again, I’ll go with the latter of the two. And as much fun as it is writing to an anonymous individual, do yourself a favor and grow a set. These are big words for someone who can’t even be a big enough person to back them up.

Sincerely,
Catherine Manners